Title: Another Anniversary
Fandom: CSI: NY
Characters: Don Flack, Jamie Lovato
Pairings: Don Flack/Jessica Angell, Don Flack/Jamie Lovato
Set In Time: 20 May 2013, last season of CSI: NY
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY and its characters. So, I don't make money from this fiction. It's just for fun!
A/N: I can't believe I still miss Jess.
Don Flack looked up from the corner he was seated. He seemed startled, as if she took him by surprise, and tried to hide something.
Jamie walked into the bedroom, eying him. He was strangely silent, keeping her eyes on her, studying her moves.
“Something happened at work?”
He simply shook his head, still silent.
She frowned, “So... what's wrong?”
“Nothing... really”, his tone was quite sad.
Lovato crouched in front of him, nodding towards the piece of paper concealed in his hands. “What's that?”
Flack looked guilty and almost scared. He looked at the object he was holding and took a deep breath.
“You can tell me, not going to judge you”, she attempted a smile.
He studied her for a few seconds then, after another long breath, he handled it to her.
A picture, not a simple piece of paper. Jamie looked at the young woman in the image, focusing on every single detail, her long brown hair, her deep eyes, her contagious smile. The picture was a little worn, a tell-tale sign it was something it was looked at very often.
“She's beautiful...”, Jamie started, trying not too sound deceived or jealous.
“Her name was Jess”, he commented with a low voice.
“Oh.” She didn't miss the use of the simple past. Jamie sat next to Flack, giving back the picture. She looked at him, wide-eyed, waiting for him to explain. She didn't want to pressure him, she wanted him to tell her in his own time and words.
“She was killed this same day, four years ago. She was a detective, and got shot on a scene”, he passed a finger on the picture, outlining Angell's smile.
At first, Jamie was speechless. Flack had always seemed a happy, positive, smiling guy. It was a shock discovering he was hiding such deep pain.
“Did you love her?”
He glanced at her briefly, then looked away. He nodded lightly. “Never told her, though.”
“I'm sure she knew”, was her simple reply.
“How do you know?”, he dared to ask.
She said nothing, shrugging.
“Was she a good cop?”, Jamie realized she wasn't annoyed, only curious. And glad he was trusting her enough to speak about his former girlfriend.
“Yeah”, a proud smile graced his face, “One of the best. She was smart, witty and funny. Kind soul, open heart and...”, he struggled to find his words. It was hard. He stood up and, from a box in his closet, took a piece of paper. Lovato grabbed it: It was the front page of a newspaper. Jessica Angell's determined expression was the first thing she noticed. She skimmed rapidly through the title and the article, then she put it down.
“Those are standard words, written by someone paid to write them down. Void, banal sentences. I'd like to know about her, but I want to hear it from you... if you're up to it”, she quickly added. She doesn't want to upset him.
He pondered for a while, then closed his eyes: “She was transferred in our precinct because I was still recovering from the explosion. We clicked, just like that. We started as friends and, then, I kissed her. We didn't spend much time together, few months really, but we did good. We did the best we could.” He breathed slowly before going on. “She had a tattoo circling her left wrist. I learnt it by heart, still can see it sometimes. She liked sleeping wearing my shirts and sending me embarrassing texts when I was at work. She drank OJ every single morning, enormous glasses full of it. She used to steal chips from my plate and deny she did so. She was a Devils fan, imagine. She drove me mad singing out-of-key and made me laugh. Every day. Every moment. She made me happy. And stupid. And romantic. She made me think about the future. And families with children. I loved her... maybe a part of me still does”, he concluded, feeling guilty because of his last admission.
Jamie stared at Flack's profile, taking in his long lashes, the perfect nose and the slightly flushed cheeks. She touched his face kindly, wiping a tear away. She didn't like his pain. She didn't like his sorrow, she didn't like he was feeling guilty. She stroke his skin, hoping he would know she wasn't mad.
He looked at her with a sad expression. “Sorry, Jamie. This wasn't fair”
She shook her head, “Don't worry. I asked, you trusted me. So I can't be mad. I won't be mad. We both had pasts and lost lovers behind. They made us who we are, and I know you're here with me. You have the right to feel sad today. It's human.”
He bit his lips, eyes down. “Thank you”, he squeezed her hand.
“Don't mention it. Need something?”
“I... I'd like to be alone for a little bit... if you don't mind.”
Jamie stood with a kind smile, “No. I can go home and you can call me when you feel better”
“Could you stay in the living room? I'll stay here, but I don't want to chase you away.”
Her smile grew. His words made her feel warm and whole. “Yes, I can. I'll be reading the book I have been trying to end for ages. If you need me...”, she touched his hair.
“Yeah... I'm glad you'll be there”, his voice broke a little.
She smiled again. When she reached the door she looked back: “Don... I know she knew, because I knew too.”
The she left, leaving him with his happy memories of Jessica Angell. After all, this was her day.