Sorry for my bad hand-writing but it’s rather difficult to write with you balanced between my arms and my hip. I know I can put you down, but I’ve missed the feel of your soft skin all the day.
Your grandfather is there. He and your grandmother have spent the afternoon trying to decide who was going to hold you longer. They had great motivations, I should admit it. Viktor has just arrived and Maggie will leave tomorrow. So… as you can see, my chances to hold you were very poor. Grandparents, they can be the weirdest human beings. More than parents, I guess.
So, you met Viktor Kovac. It’s not something you’re going to forget, is it? What do you think about him? He’s a little strange, isn’t he? I know (and I swear I do) he can be a little scary, but you don’t have to worry: He’s already in love with you, I’m sure. He said he’s going to paint you sooner or later. Don’t be too surprised: You’re our little star and you are undoubtedly beautiful. More and more beautiful. You surely deserve a portrait.
But now I’d like to tell you something about my childhood in order to give you a more detailed picture of your grandfather. It’ll help you to understand him (and maybe me, too) better. When I was a child (don’t give me that look, I’m not that old!) fathers were supposed to be a little “distant” from their children. Viktor loved me very much (he still does and I’m glad) but never spent days with me the way I use to do with you. He worked hard all day (you know, little money, two children, a wife, minimum wage) and he arrived home late. I was still awake (or barely awake) in order to greet him. He entered the room and he always did the same gestures: He kissed my mother then came to me, stroke my hair and kissed my cheek. Then he did the same with my brother. After that he left us and went to eat something and we could go to sleep. Not very much, eh? I know it, and I know you know it. But I could feel in his little gestures all the love he felt for us. I don’t know if you can understand. Times ago men were supposed to be always strong, they didn’t have to show their feelings or weaknesses, they didn’t help moms in the house or with babies. They were only there to give orders and to tell their children how to behave. Sad, huh? Especially because your grandfather suffered this situation. I know he wanted hard to hold us, or kiss us, or play with us. Different times, you know?
And you know what? I’m really glad times have changed. I don’t even want to think that I can’t hold you because Society imposes it. You’re only few weeks old but I’m already addicted to you. Your skin, your smell, your big eyes. And I don’t care if I appear too sensitive or cheesy or whatever. I really don’t care. You’re my son, you give me the strength I need, you give me everything. Seen why do I need to hold you for a while every day? It wasn’t so difficult to understand after all. I love you, you’re my life, you’ll always be. Let other people think whatever they want, ok? We’re great the way we are, we don’t need their judgments.
Your mom’s smiling at me. I think she finds our position a little funny. She still doesn’t know I have in mind to make her sit with us, her too securely in my arms. She’s as important as you, isn’t she? I know you agree. So, let’s convince her to come here.
I love you, baby.