drk_cookie (drk_cookie) wrote,
drk_cookie
drk_cookie

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[ER] - Dear Son - Letter 14

Buona serata a tutti!

Dear Gabriel,

I’m mad at you. So mad you can’t even imagine.

I don’t know. You have everything, you can do almost everything... tell me: Are you living in a prison with no freedom? Are we controlling your every move? I don’t think so. We barely know all your friends, we don’t know your last girlfriend’s name, we try to pry as little as possible into your private life... maybe we are doing everything wrong.

You are mad at me, because I dared to shout at you. You said you’re a grown-up, you can decide for yourself and you are not a naïf kid anymore. Gabriel, of course you are! Sorry to deceive you about that, but you’re still miles away from a grown-up (you’re sixteen... not sixty); you can’t decide for yourself, (you still haven’t the right to vote) and let’s skip naïveté in the first place. You reacted like a two-year-old baby and didn’t even try to understand our reasons.

So, I’m going to write the whole story down, hoping you’ll consider the recklessness of your actions.

A week ago you took the driving license. It was a great day, you studied hard to get it, I let you drive my car and noticed you were careful. So, no problem with that. I didn’t regret you can drive now. Under some aspects you’re more mature than your friends, so this is not about the car, ok? You are allowed to go out on Friday and Saturday evenings. Of course, you have a curfew (I had it till I got married and I was twenty-one), but I think that Midnight is a damn good curfew. Don’t forget you’re sixteen and you like going outside with my car.

And this takes us at yesterday night. It was a nice summer night. You were out with your buddies. Your mom and I were watching TV enjoying each other’s company. At 11.30 you arrived at home. It seemed really strange, you never, and say never, come back home before your curfew. But you said everything was ok, you were tired and wanted to go to sleep. You kissed us goodnight (Jude’s kiss, I guess) and disappeared into your room. We stared at each other for awhile, then we heard some music blaring from your bedroom and we went back looking TV. After an hour we went to bed.

At two o’clock your mom suddenly woke up. She was nervous, saying she was having a bad feeling about you. She had a sort of nightmare about a car accident, I don’t know. She begged me, really begged me, to check on you. She was too scared to come to your room. So I stood up and started feeling worried. She seemed so sure. I hoped you were sleeping but when I opened the door it hit me: I wouldn’t find you there. In fact, your bed was... void and you were nowhere to be seen. I froze, I swear. Air left my lungs completely. I checked again and you still weren’t there. Your mom appeared at my side. We looked at each others with round eyes and I saw how much she was scared.

Gabriel, good idea. This is probably the most ingenious thing your mind has ever created. Escaping secretly during night while your parents are fast asleep. Wow! Just wonderful, magic, amazing. Disappearing as if you have been held prisoners by two terrible monsters. What an heroic gesture!

It was two o’clock in the night. Your mom was so worried I thought she was going to die. She started looking outside the house, in the garden, in other rooms, but she didn’t find you. Oh, we’re not so stupid, we tried to call you on the mobile you insisted you needed so much. Oh yeah, you needed it so much to let it turned off, right? If you use it, you’ll ruin it. Gabriel, really, I… I don’t know, really, I’m still so mad. Why did you feel the need to go out at two o’clock in the morning? Why did you feel the need to lie to us? Why? I was so worried and scared. Worst scenarios were already playing wildly in my mind. I saw you in ER, bleeding unconscious while nurses phoned us to inform us. Oh my God, Gabriel… what did you have in mind? You just went out like that, with my car! You have only had driving licence for one week!

And do you know what the worst thing is? You hurt your mother. I think I never saw her so scared and anxious… or maybe, wait, years ago, when you were born. Yeah, she was so scared and anxious on those far away days. How did you dare to hurt her like that? She’s your mother, Gabriel, she’ll probably be the most important woman in your life, she’ll love you no matter what. Listen, I’m her husband and I love her, and I’m the one who’s supposed to hurt her sometime, you know? She expects this because she’s the one who’s supposed to hurt me sometime. But you, you’re her son. Just don’t play tricks behind her back like that. She was terrorized. And she still is.

Me, I’m just angry. No better, I know, but you don’t have any escapes. You’re going to be punished and it’ll a hard punishment. I don’t know what it’ll be exactly, but you won’t forget it. Next time, you’ll think twice.

Ok, I’ve finished. If you want to play offended child, be my guest. I’m sure you’ll understand when you’ll be a real grown-up. Parents are not supposed to be always sweet and happy. So, this means I’m not going to love you less, I love you as always. No matter what, Gabriel. And I can assure you this anger’s going to pass and in no time you’ll be again my little perfect angel. I won’t forget your behaviour though, but I’ll forgive you. After all, you’re my son, and you’re supposed to be wrong.

I love you, baby.

Your Tata 

 

Il mio vicino ha acceso il camino. Soffoco...     
Tags: character: luka kovac, fandom: er, in english please, long fic, long fic: dear son, pairing: luby
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