Stasera lettera lunga. Siete avvisati.
You just left my room after telling me everything about your first school day.
You’re getting big while I’m getting older. Though it’s a good thing, you know? No regrets, baby, my life has been beautiful and full of events. And I’m glad you have more time than me in front of you. Still sentimental dad, huh?
So, today you have met a lot of kids just like you. You played with them, you sang together and you were all happy. Your teacher, Mrs Rose, is super great, as you defined her, because she let you use your coloured pencils and you made a beautiful drawing for your beautiful mom. I think you’re gifted, Gabriel... art and you, the perfect couple. Just like your grandfather, as he likes to underline. But I don’t care since you have my eyes and your mom’s smile...
But let’s go back to your first school day. I know today you are happy. I know it seems all so easy and nice, playing and laughing and drawing, but it won’t be always this way. During all your school life (and it will be a long school life) you’ll have hard times, you’ll have to study a lot of things and you’ll sometimes think you won’t get past it. I remember studying hard during nights while Jasna was crying and wondering if I could be a doctor someday. But, hey, look at me now: I’m a doctor, a good one I may admit, I’m the Chief of ER, so I succeeded and you can do the same. Wait, I’m not going to compare or to oblige you to follow my studies or my career. Feel free to choose whatever you like: art, sport, music, medicine, business, diplomatic career, political studies, no college (mmhh... I’m going to hate myself for having proposed this option. And your mom too, she’s going to hate me so much...) I don’t care. You’re a smart boy and you’ll be great in whatever you’ll choose. I only hope you won’t be scared by the amount of job and difficulties. As I always say, life is hard but it is worth living.
I’m so proud of you. You went to school today, with your rucksack, almost running, pulling your mom’s hand. It’s wonderful witnessing such enthusiasm. It’s wonderful realising that it’s my own son who is so full of enthusiasm. Maybe we’re doing a good job with you. Or maybe I should wait for your adolescence before saying this. The problem is that I can’t have the right perception of things with you. You always seem so... so... perfect. And how wrong is my affirmation? We both know you have some flaws, c’mon everybody has them, I mean it’s part of human nature. Luckily, they are no too big or dangerous, but, try to follow your crazy dad... they’re flaws, ok? No good things, but they seem perfect to me. They make you perfect. Nonsense, you see? Just don’t listen to my crazy rattling... I’m too much in love with you.
In no time you’ll be able to read and you’ll have all my letters as I have promised you when you were one. I’m wondering what you are going to think about them. Will they surprise you? Shock you? Disappoint you? I don’t know. They just reflect my feelings for you. They just reflect our life together. And you can see it: Life’s working pretty fast.
Six years, kiddo. Six years. And they passed in a second. You’re a big boy now and soon you won’t need your old parents anymore. I’m a little sad, you know? Sad and glad at the same time.
Your mom, oh, she’s sad too. Wondering where her little baby has gone. I can see it in her eyes: Sometimes she’s still looking for that little one who needed her for everything, who couldn’t live without her. This is the reason why she appeared a bit upset, today. It seemed to her you’re going to leave us. She’s already seeing all future events: New friends, girlfriends, another round of sleepless nights, driving license, your first car, college, first job, marriage, children...
I think maybe she’s a little scared. You know she loves you. Before you were born she was scared she couldn’t love you right; now she’s scared because she loves you much, she’s scared she won’t be able to let you go. I know there’s plenty of time but... parents, there are no words to describe us.
Listen, you’re the best thing that happened to her, don’t forget this, so, don’t grow too fast, ok? Do it for me, do it for her. We want to enjoy your childhood as much as possible.
I stop there. I’m coming kissing you good night now. Are you in bed? You should be, considering you’re having school tomorrow...
I love you, baby.